One Thing at a Time

Did you miss me?

Here I am back at my desk with a warm cup of coffee on a very rainy day. Many of you will be shocked to discover that I spent time weeding my garden this week. You probably didn't even know I had a garden. To be honest, it came with the house.

My youngest daughter joined me in the quest to rid our flower bed of miscellaneous weeds and wild grasses. At first she thought it would be easy to grab a handful of the green stuff and pull. Of course she only ended up with wisps of leaves in her fists. The root and some of the plant taunted her from the mulch.

"That's just going to grow again tomorrow isn't it?" she said.

"You are right," I answered. "Each one needs to be plucked out individually."

"But that takes a long time."

"Yes, but if we take care of one at a time, we will have a beautiful garden. Those weeds will stay away much longer." I answered.

I've been telling myself the same thing for two months. On thing at a time.

Stress has hit our family like a hurricane. When we have two urgent priorities, something else happens and we must add another. Car repairs, crashing computers, water leaks, hurt feelings, financial debacles all demand my attention. If I try to grasp the whole list in my fists, I end up with strands of success, but the roots remain to pull out tomorrow.

Don't misunderstand me. I know that God has everything under control. I am certain that His plan is perfect even when I feel like I'm drowning. (Psalm 69: Lord save me. The waters are up to my neck) I've never doubted God's faithfulness, but I can still fail to have enough hours in the day to get everything done. There are some thing you just can't delegate to others.

So here I am. A long list of weeds to pull. Instead I am drinking coffee and blogging... and praying. I am praying for YOU.

Are you overwhelmed? Maybe your To Do list has grown over night. Maybe you are single parent trying to keep half an acre cleared by yourself. Maybe you have guilt or anger that is suffocating your joy.

Take a deep breath and pray. Then as God leads you, take hold of each weed one by one.

Choices

I had to warm up leftover coffee from yesterday. I made a choice to procrastinate on buying a new bag of coffee. Now I'm suffering the consequences.

We all have choices to make. This weekend I chose to take my kids to a special worship program at another church instead of attending our regular service. Today I'm choosing to have lunch with my son at school instead of going to yoga. You chose to read this blog instead of doing your dishes. Bravo!

Sometimes the consequences of our choices leave us with a bad taste in our mouths - like this stale coffee. Do you ever feel guilty for making one decision over another? A friend of mine spent the afternoon with her daughter selling Girl Scout cookies outside a local grocery store. Later that day, she felt bad that she had missed a church event. Which choice was the right one for that day?

I'm inclined to believe that it is a good choice to invest in relationships with our kids. On the other hand, we need to allow them to have space and be self-reliant. Ultimately God is "judging the thoughts and attitude of our hearts" as well as our actions.

Today when I skip yoga, I am making a sacrifice to be with my son who needs a little extra time with mom today. But on Wednesday, I'll go to yoga with the assurance that I also need to care for this temple that God has given me. They are both good choices.

And even though sometimes I make the wrong choice, I am thankful for grace. Just like the sweet smell of fresh coffee brewing, God's mercies will be new tomorrow.

Writing is Yoga for the Mind

After two cups of coffee this morning, I headed off to the gym for yoga class. Our group doesn't get caught up in the mystical aspects of the exercise. As a matter of fact, I pray through scriptures that seem to correspond with different poses. I can center my thoughts on the Lord and ignore the fact that my ankle is over my head.

As I stared at my toes from the downward dog pose, I realized that yoga and writing have a lot in common. (I couldn't come up with a verse besides "A dog returns to its vomit." Not very inpsiring.)

Writing and yoga slowly stretch me beyond what I thought was possible. With the right encouragement and determination, I go a little deeper. Writing demands that I ask myself hard questions and come up with creative answers. The only way to limber up the writing muscle is to push a little farther tomorrow. What will I write tomorrow? A novel? An obituary? A love letter?

Writing and yoga gradually strengthen me. I condition myself by toning my muscles with good exercises. Yoga-goers know that poses are more than just aesthetically pleasing. They burn those quads and make them strong. Crafting phrases into stories works much the same way. Can I revise objectively? Accept criticism? Will I be able to burn away the "fat" and trim down to a well-toned piece?

Writing is yoga for the mind. Tomorrow as I raise my arms up in the "Son" Salutation pose, I'll imagine I'm in the throne room of my King. Then who knows? I may write a song.

Positive Influence

My oldest daughter is applying for a variety of college scholarships. (Yes, it makes me feel old.) Each scholarship requires typical information about family background, income and insight into the student's goals for the future.

One particular essay she is writing is about someone who has influenced her life. The picture above shows all three of my girls and their dance teacher, Reggie, following a theatre production of Seussical Jr. I am so grateful for the positive influence that she has been for my kids - encouraging, challenging, mentoring.

Not only that, but I am blessed to know that my daughter considers me to be one of the people who has most influenced her in a positive way. We strive to be an encouragers and mentors to those around us, but often we do not know if our actions really affect people. Are YOU seeking to influence young people?

I have worked with teens in small groups and it is interesting to hear what they say about adults who have that positive influence.

"Kari never overreacts when I've done something stupid. She listens and know that I already feel bad enough about it."

"Dad leads me to solve my own problems instead of just dictating an answer."

"Elizabeth's mom is so cool. She knows that what I'm feeling is normal. I never feel like she's laughing at me behind my back."

"I can tell my mom anything. She's my best friend."

"I'm more willing to do the right thing because I know my youth pastor really cares. He really believes in me."


What amazing gifts we have to share with young people - wisdom, truth, hope. What will you offer to them?

Ask Me Anything?

Our Air Force base was blessed with opportunity to host Dan Clark, world renowned speaker, for a weekend of encouragement. I was particularly intrigued my one of the principles he addressed - Are we asking the right questions?

As I sip my reheated coffee this morning (Yes, I reheat. Why waste a good thing?) I pondered the premise of asking questions that lead others down a positive path . Clark comments that the media is often trying to "solicit negative answers" and this dominates our cultures and attitude.

It's much more than "looking on the bright side." Clark boldly challenges every one of us to talk about things that really matter instead of focusing on negativism and what people have done wrong. He gives the example of the first free elections in Iraq which he personally witnessed. The media was swamped with stories of bombings at the polling places. The reality of the situation was out of 5,578 polling stations - 11 were targeted by explosives. What happened to the success story? 5,567 election sites were NOT bombed. Why didn't someone ask the question - "What did people have to say at the other polling places?"

So what kind of questions can we ask to change the tenor of conversation in our home, our school, our city? Instead of asking our kids: How was your day at school? We could ask: Who helped you the most today? Don't give them the opportunity to whine about it. Or what about asking "What is one thing I can do to make your job easier?" or "What are some positive things that customers said about our service today?"

I understand that we need to fix problems and make changes to improve upon past mistakes, but let's start the conversation without the barrier of negativism.

What questions are YOU going to ask today? Grab a cup of caffeine and leave me a comment. I want to hear YOUR ideas.